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Friday, 24 December 2010

Marriage Breakups Why??????



Commitment to love must be till death.  Marriage in total is a gamble which means it can last till death or not. It takes two matured person’s to make the commitment to last.  Through the years the matured couple has lost that romance in their lives because they lost their small acts of love; trust and respect for one another.
The small acts are:


1.Time, sex, money biggest obstacles for young married Couples.
A  study by the Creighton University Center for Marriage and Family suggests that time, sex and money pose the three biggest obstacles to satisfaction in the lives of newly married couples. The study found that debt brought into marriage, the couples' financial situation, balancing job and family, and frequency of sexual relations were of greatest concern to those ages 29 and under. Those age 30 and over shared with their younger cohorts the concerns of balancing job and family and frequency of sexual relations, but also added as problem areas constant bickering and expectations about household tasks. The study used a random sample drawn from couples who had completed the FOCCUS inventory and had agreed to participate in future research. 
"Time, Sex and Money'' is shorthand for the top three problem areas reported by survey respondents: balancing job and family, frequency of sexual relations, and debt brought into marriage.


2."A variety of studies suggest that the seeds of marital distress and
divorce are there for many couples when they say, "I Do." 
3."Money is the one thing that people say they argue about most in
marriage, followed by children . But, there is a lot of reason to believe that what couples argue about is not as important as how they argue .


4. Considerate and Appreciation – pride and disrespect sets in; no thank you; no I love you; no reassurance of love; no time to help in the house; continuous nagging; showing disrespect of one’s spouse to friends and relatives; no apologies for the mistake one has done; lying,  the understanding of the spouse is none existent  anger and to a point hatred has set in
5.Laugh and Play – does not exist anymore it has turned to another direction a 3rd person or just wants independence and romance lost.  Other reasons for a marriage break-up are: alcoholism or an addiction to drugs; physical and mental abuse; the impotency of the man; isolation of friends;  some men may like more sex than women; professional achievement  at work  and who has more power at home and with friends; attitudes have changed; communication has ceased; Love and romance is lost.
6.Interests  – there was no listening of the happenings of the day; tone of voice arrogant in questioning the activities, pointing an accusing finger; unsolicited advice; professional independence and envy;   insecurity  and distrust has set in.
7. The Touching – kisses ; hugs lessened because of taking care of children; too much housework; or office work; physical looks lost; one must not let go of physical appearance  you must always look gorgeous put make- up when you go out, avoid wearing loose clothes or duster, one must always look interesting and watch your figure, had no time to take of each other’s needs, different sexual needs  or there might be a 3rd party; selfishness has set – in.


One must always remember that marriage is a commitment and both must work at it to last. Again for a marriage to last there must be trust, respect and regular communication with one another and also practicing the small acts of love. Jealousy, infidelity, envy, distrust, disrespect; and selfishness are always on the look –out to attack both the couple and family.
Both of you must be aware of these and get a hold of yourself before they try to conquer you and the family.  The problem is that these destroyers come in different forms that will attract, attack and will entice the person to fall for it.  That is why faith in God or another Higher Power and continuous prayers to protect oneself and the gift of discernment of situations is very important.
Marriage is not an easy task to jump in as it is a life time commitment.  It is also not easy breaking up a marriage as it breaks the family and the feelings and attitudes of the children get affected.  It is also not easy to jump into another relationship because one must be honest to oneself to find out what caused the break-up of  your marriage.
Never point the finger on the other as it takes two to make a marriage work.  As the saying goes “Honesty to oneself is the best policy” so it goes honesty to one’s action must be mended to make a relationship work.  No relationship will work if one is not honest with oneself on his own mistakes.  Be Honest and true to yourself in all actions.
I Wish You All A Happy & Beautiful Married Life...

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